Where to begin? Life is just plain tough. I don't know how else to say it. I feel so incredibly overwhelmed, and I don't know what to do. Prayer and scripture reading used to be an automatic for me, now they seem more like just another thing on my list of chores. And, you know what? I KNOW better. I know I should be reading more and praying more. How am I to stand on God's Word if I don't know what His Word says? That is one of my downfalls, I have a hard time praying when life gets tough. I have a hard time reading the Bible when life gets tough. I just feel so distant, so empty. So hurt, and so very scared. I don't understand why a God so kind and loving allows people to go through so much pain. All the people I know to be close to the Lord have experienced incredible trials, yet still stand firm in the Faith. How come I don't do that?
Could it possibly be that God has a reason for this season in life? Could it be that when I get to the next season in life, that I am going to look back and see His Mighty Hand all over it? Psalm 3:3 says that God is the Lifter of My Head, and right now I could truly use my head being lifted. I am falling so short in so many areas. Almost deliberate sin if you will. But, I have found these things to be comfort and found them to be survival, and I am having a hard time breaking free from that bondage. I need so badly to see my body as the temple for God, but instead I live as if it is my own and it is unlovely and unlovable. I feel myself slipping away from God, but I can't seem to find my way back. I need to see myself through God's Eyes and take the blinders off of my own. I feel so empty and so scared and so alone-even though I am not.
Father God please empty me and fill me with Your Perfect Undying Love. My heart is so full and I am so broken. Help me to see myself through your eyes and help me to turn around and be the woman You created me to be. Help me to leave the sin that so easily ensnares me and to find my comfort and peace in you. In your sweet name I pray...
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4 comments:
We definitely go through these seasons! Don't let satan lie to you, this will pass. God has not moved from you. He will wait for you as long as it takes. He is already lifting your head! You're going to come out on the other side of this with a story to tell of God's faithfulness.
Love ya,
~Sheryl
Dear Kimberly,
When we can't find the strength or desire to pray and seek God's face he sends others to intercede for us. Kimberly, I am praying for you as is Sheryl and probably many others. Do not be deceived. You are a STRONG woman and God is right beside you, holding tightly to his precious creation. We love you. LINDA
This post hit so close to home. Seems we are struggling with the same things, but you know what? Just like you said, we already know what the answer is! Lean on Him. Talk to Him. Do all we can to get closer to Him. Why we don't/can't do that, I cannot answer. I am as guilty as anyone. But the truth is, God has our backs. In this trial as in every one before it and as He will in every one after. If nothing else, that's the one thing that we can count on. We need to make Him our goal. Envision Him standing there with His arms wide open for us and fight the good fight, do all that we can, to get to Him. I know it's so frustrating because these 'seasons' of our life seem to come out of nowhere. Things will be going fine and then life hits you right between the eyes and knocks you down....again. The devil is a liar!!! And, for one, I'm sick of it! How about you?
I love you, girl. We need to help each other through this. And always remember....this too shall pass.
Rebecca
Hi Kimberly,
I came to your blog through Sheryl's :)
just wanted to let you know you are not alone, He is there with you always, and I will be praying for you.
huge hugs!
jill
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