Okay, so it's no secret that yesterday was not a good day for me. I didn't get the news I wanted from the doctor and frankly, I am frustrated. I feel stuck. Feel-yes, here's that word again, afraid. I just keep thinking, I know God has a plan in all of this, and maybe there is something He is trying to teach me, but why don't I just get it already? I'm so tired of living in fear and feeling defeated. So tired of feeling like I take two steps forward just to take three steps back. I know that God doesn't keep a record of wrong because the Bible says He casts our sin as "Far as the East is from the West", but I feel like maybe it's my fault, like life might be easier if I had made better choices. And, prayer, well, I am doing a study on learning to Pray God's Word, but I feel like my prayers just hit the ceiling. I know God wants to bless me and truthfully he already has beyond measure, but I want all of the extras He promises too! I'm just so angry and so frustrated, what is it that I am missing, Lord???
Lord Jesus, I feel so broken and confused. Life is not turning out the way I planned it to be, but I know You have the greater plan. My heart and my mind are so overwhelmed with so many facts, opinions, and thoughts that I can not form a clear thought about anything. I don't like any of the options that were laid before me, Lord, so I guess I need You to tell me what is right in all of this. God, take the fear that is raging inside me and use the energy that is behind it to change my heart, mind, and destroy the UNBELIEF that You are in control. In your sweet name I pray...Amen
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Sweet Kimberly, I so understand your words and frustration. I know how it feels when all you want is for life to be a little bit easier. We have the head knowledge that God is with us and will never leave us and we want to believe that will all of our hearts. But the truth is, we've been knocked down time and time again and we just have a hard time believing it will ever get better for us. Well, here's some good news Kimberly......our truth is not God's truth. Our problem is that we have to take those things that we have learned and know in our heads and apply them to our life. THAT, my dear, is the hard part. Just how do we do that? I think we just keep pressing on. Stay in the word and just keep learning until we get to the place that we can pass all of that garbage over to Him. He will gladly take it! I'm in this thing with you, girl. I have the same problems that you do. Let's just keep pressing on and maybe we can find our way to that truth together.
Love you dearly,
Becca
Kimberly,
I pray that God will give you peace. I am stressed about work and even stressed about getting ready for our trip to Asheville on Friday morning. What is with me? Why am I stressed about a fun trip? We all are seeking to BELIEVE GOD. He will do what he says He wiil do. So glad to be on this journey with you. Love, LINDA
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