God is not Surprised

Wow-it has been quite a weekend! One that was filled with some laughter but mostly a lot of tears and anger. Life is sometimes just plain hard and as the Day of Christ draws nearer, I imagine it won't get a whole lot easier. Despite the happenings of the weekend, though, I know one thing that is true. God is not a bit surprised. He knew that one of my dearest friends would betray me and then lie to my face about it in such a way that it was undeniable that she was lying. He knew that one side of my family would turn against the other in anger to the point that one even refused to pray for the other. He knew that though we are stuck in the middle, we have to remain neutral. He knew that the children are the ones that will suffer. You know what? He even allowed it all to happen. So why now, with my knowledge that God is not surprised and that He allows all things to happen for a reason, do I feel such anger, disappointment, and sadness? Why do I feel so helpless and so responsible for things that I have absolutely no control over?

Lord, I just don't understand. Seems sometimes one thing happens right after another and it seems there is no time to breathe in between. Trust is so hard to come by, Lord and when someone dear to me betrays that trust, I just want to retreat even further inside myself. Lord, family is supposed to be the one group of people you can turn to but, Lord, even they have turned against each other now. Help me, Lord. Show me Your Plan. Show me Your Ways and teach me to walk in them. Come make me whole, Lord as only You know how to do. In Your Sweet Name I pray...